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May 22nd, 2004

06:32 pm: hey...
To anyone who cares: hey i gotta new journal... the names:
xzer0ismy_herox
if you want to add me go ahead....not like anyone cares anyway.

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: brandtson

May 10th, 2004

07:24 pm:

You Should Take the Plunge and Propose


This may take a little courage on your part, so don't let your chance pass you by

You want to get married - and more importantly, your guy seems like he wants to marry you

For the ultimate proposal, spring for a simple white gold band to present him

Or just propose spontaneously... but plan out your words, so he'll know that you mean it




Should You Propose to Him? Take This Quiz :-)




Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.


Current Mood: curious
Current Music: the vines-im only sleeping
06:51 pm:


You Are a Natural Beauty!


You're the kind of beauty that every guy dreams about...

One that looks good in the morning - without a stich of makeup

That's doesn't mean you're a total hippie chic though

You have style, but for you, style is effortless




What Type of Beauty Are You? Take This Quiz :-)




Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.



Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: bright eyes-a perfect sonnat

May 9th, 2004

10:54 am:

According to the Which Something Corporate Song Are You? Test...



Current Mood: bored
Current Music: billy talent

May 8th, 2004

10:02 pm: to the people that have sent me love
today started out horrible...but i came out on top of the world all of these wonderful people sent love shoutouts to me and for that i love you all! you crazy kids you! im really tired. i made a totally awesome newest buddy shes totally coolness and only lives 20 mins away! she already knows where i live tis cool to be rockin the cas-ba with her we shall see a movie together soon! she sent *mucho love* and i was happy shes so cool! and to all of you hep cats out there i love you all thanx for being my friend and just being there all around...."no wrist problems today" THANX GUYS! and to my big brother TIM i love you so much dude ! you rok! thanx for being there every single day....~love your lil sis~ did anyone ever watch "dinosaurs" when you were younger i remember that show... there was this one part "im the baby, gotta love me" hehe yeah i remember that! AGE: sent you a post....read it when anna is not there! -love yuns! and to my ross if you ever read my journal you will know that i love you with all my heart you are my boy-wonder...and good things arent meant to change...one day i will be the Courtney Shaw Blalock....I LOVE YOU!
And to my new homie: you so Rock!!!!!!i will play a song for you the beautiful bright eyes lyrics to "no lies, just love"

Current Mood: dorky
Current Music: American Football
01:07 pm: look


Your Lip Gloss Flavor Is: Dr. Pepper


Saying that you're one of a kind is ... well ... an understatement.


You're unusual, quirky, wacky - and you love to challenge people.


And you are a total trendsetter. Your friends are quick to copy your fashion and music tastes.


Which is why Dr. Pepper Lip Gloss is your perfect flavor. It's as rare and outrageous as you are.



What Flavor Lip Gloss Are You? Take This Quiz :-)




Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.



11:14 am: why does everyone have to suck?
okay, my moms pissed at me because i forgot that tommorow is mother's day....SO SORRY...its not like you all dont for get my age all the time im your daughter and im 17 how can you forget:? thats really horrible ....and tell me how i dont care about you ...thats bullshit mom....so fuck off,.....how can you deal with crap like this from the depth of my sorrow..."SCREW THE WORLD"

Current Mood: aggravated
Current Music: sunny day real estate

May 6th, 2004

09:50 pm: Repeat Lesson 1
Im so completely annoyed by the parentals what bitches they are! i cant stand them at all!
i called my boy-wonder i missed him so....! i dont feel good at all im up working on getting my room clean and i thought i would take a mental break because i definetely needed some relaxation i feel like blah! :(I) (i need a straight jacket....) hehe my room on a lighter note, is getting cleaner than it ever has been i have to finish baking the cookies in the mornNin so that they will be fresh Ross says he has a surprise for me in the MornIn...i cant wait till i know what it is i love surprises from that boy they are the best! hehe yeah well im sure im boring you all and i need to finish up my room so all i have to do in the mornin is bake!
"i believe that lovers should be tied together, thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather...left there to drown in their innocence..."

Current Mood: distressed
Current Music: Bright eyes-A Perfect Sonnet

May 5th, 2004

06:11 pm: Follow the leader down...

Well....lets see today i wrote threats all over the bathroom stalls to this girl that i really dont like! that was cool! i had an alright day until i got home and had to hear the parentals bitch....gah i hate that....anywho.....im just sitting around cravin some chinese food so here in a couple of minutes i am gonna go get some at that place called china b/c its good....well...actually just because its close...im gonna make sugar cookies with everyones initials on them for a project that i have to do its due on friday....not now..."procrastinator" thats me...sometimes i am not but you know....i miss ross a lot! Timmothy it was awesome to see you after school today you are so like my big brother that i never had! "i love ya like tha fat kid love cake" i am really tired i wish i could sleep forever with ross right by my side i really mean it...i love ross blalock and someday i will be courtney shaw blalock! ross told me that! hehe....(im sorry its mushy, but i love em)

"im seeing red, dont think youll have to see my face again there's not much time for sympathy..."



Current Mood: mellow
Current Music: unwritten law

May 4th, 2004

11:14 pm: .....
today i slit my wrist...my pointy object was a little to dull so it took forever to get it thru...burning till the very end...yeah, well what can i say...when you hurt you need some comfort...i guess you find your own way especially when you have not a soul to console your heart...especially the sad ridden souls who u shouldnt of trusted in the first place...i wish i would have never met you is all i have to say...."your ignorance is bland"
as always i am sitting around blatantly doing nothing....i thought hard about lifes toughest relationships and how those are the ones that are meant to be....and i know now how much one person can trully love another...the table goes both ways... well all and all i had quite an interesting expierience with pain and confliction....but i think my sadness has passed which is nice now that i can think actual happy thoughts. well anywho.....liz: when did you become vegan? just wonderin because you love shrimp and all....? yeah anywho tim : hello brother Scottie! hehe....
"my depression is his regression"
....well i am gonna watch tim burton's film BIG FISH! signing off: courtney shaw

Current Mood: melancholy
Current Music: big fish

May 2nd, 2004

08:38 pm: ......

today...i started prodding my wrists with objects....why cant someone understand when they are doing something that trully hurts you inside? i really cant fathom that...but i know the feeling of hurt...they were right...this does help....i havent felt so mentally hurt in all my life as i do now.... and yet he cant understand that? why does this life have to be so sad and depressing? i know he loves me but why does it have to hurt me so much when he does something that he doesnt think is going to hurt me? "there's nothing to lose, when no one knows your name....there's nothing to gain, but the days dont seem to change..."

 i love him so much.



Current Mood: crushed
Current Music: billy talent

May 1st, 2004

04:32 pm: im seeing red
what fantastically wonderful wonderbread filled day this has been i went to ross's casa....it was wonderfully romantic and full of happiness...hes all i need to get by in a day...(hehe) im thirsty and hungry but yet since i live in what id like to call the "white ghetto"......yes...were damn near po'folks but still my parentals have enuff money to buy their weed...yes..yippee fuckin doo....anywho...maybe someone will take me to ingles so i can get 3 for 85cent cheddar cheese maruchan noodles...i have ever so loved these cheesy favorites! and maybe i could afford a bit of the freezer isle foods ...keep me stocked up for a couple of days!....i am so hungry its killin me....well im gonna go dig up some spare nickels and dimes to afford my meal ticket... love~the hopelessly romantic old geezer named Alfred!~

Current Mood: geeky
Current Music: unwritten law_hey little girl
09:27 am: everything will be okay....
lets see....trying to think of everything i am doing today...cleaning entire house just so i can go to ross's house!....and working on a group project the junior project ...by myself!...blah blah...blah..."everything will be okay...just hold my hand..." my head hurts....real bad...sucks....i got a new sticker! its like knock off brand happy bunny stickers...with other animals on them it says stuff like poop happens ...or you need a labotomy...or like the one i got "your ugly and your momma dresses you funny....its hillarious...there's a whole lot....its such a jim benton rip off but its still funny and cool. hehe there also a monkey one that says wasnt me dorkwad there all coolness i ate chinese food last nite it was sesame chicken i love that stuff! ymm ymm....well my ross has called so im gonna go now

Current Mood: disappointed
Current Music: brandtson-new favorite pastime

April 30th, 2004

05:37 pm: Look at this!
Chomsky
Anarcho-Syndicalist - You believe that governments
and corporations are both equally evil. You
think that all people should have maximum
personal freedom. You think everyone should
have control over their economic production,
because the economy should be structured
completely in terms of cooperatives and
communes. Your historical role model is Noam
Chomsky.


Which political sterotype are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

thats coolness!


Hopelessly Romantic Geezer Named Alfred


What's Your Personality Type?
brought to you by Quizilla


phantom planet
You are Phantom Planet! You little indie rockers
you. Not many people know who you are, but
those who do are cool. Like you.


Which one of my favorite bands are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: billy talent -voices of violence
05:19 pm: check this out
hey this is awesome look!

I am Elizabeth Bathory.
Which Evil Criminal are You?
A Rum and Monkey crime.


Hailing from sunny Transylvania, your first blood-related incident was when you stabbed a servant girl in the face with a pair of scissors for underperforming. Some of the red spray landed on your hands, and as you washed it off, you noticed that it left your skin fresh and young looking. From then on you were convinced that the blood of young girls was the secret to eternal youth.

Rather than killing girls outright by stabbing them or slitting their throats, you enjoy torturing them for weeks on end by pricking them with needles or prodding with sharp spikes - all to bathe in their blood. You've killed over six hundred women, all without raising a peep from the authorities.

Current Mood: blank
Current Music: brandtson-boys lie

April 29th, 2004

07:21 pm: Actress, model, Dancer.....
why does this year gotta be packed full of stuff that sucks really bad! Found out today that i have signs of severe manic deppressive disorder (bipolar) yippee fuckin doo...just another additive to this fucked up world of courtney....it more so often occurs to me how enticing it would be to slit mine own wrists...im not joking....i really have come to think that it might relieve some of the pain that centers around my heart at the oddest of all times....well....anywho i watched the part in the wizard of oz where the munchkin hangs himself ....its not in the newer released movie its only in the old movie. the remastered movie took out most of that oddity and claimed it to be an emu...bird that is...yeah anywho....
"she made a promise she'd never act with me now...but i saw her move her lips, line please line please..."
"She doesnt want to be dead in the water but she floats out to sea..."
"The breakfast cereal talked more than we did all day long....she swore that she could explain...she swore that it would not happen again,she swore that she could explain, we both knew her words were in vein"
"need more friends with wings all the angels i know put concrete in my veins"
"in a box under my bed, i have kept this safe from our world.....and everyone wished upon in some way...but that never works out..."
"I never bite off more than i can chew...but then she bit me"
i wanna live my life like its sunday...the only problem sunday only come now once aweek"
" Your so cold...to act on this...and misunderstanding...you may accidently misinterpret honesty"

April 28th, 2004

05:26 pm: i just thought
i just thought i would tell you all how old my inner child is after i took this quiz

My inner child is sixteen years old today

My inner child is sixteen years old!



Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla



anywho...i am this dysfunctional carebear

Stoner Bear
Stoner Bear


Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

i am this messed up barbie:

Gangsta Bitch!
You're Gangsta Bitch Barbie. You're tough and you
like it rough, and of course you like to pop a
cap in any wiggers ass.


If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla

what kind of kiss am i?

HASH(0x8adc90c)
You are a Punk Boy Kiss! You met your cutie at that
concert last week... Instead of bringin home
some CDs and a shirt... you brought home him!


What kind of Hot Boy Kiss are you??
brought to you by Quizilla

Current Mood: bored
Current Music: juliana theory-music box theory
05:12 pm: i just thought
i just thought i would tell you all how old my inner child is after i took this quiz

My inner child is sixteen years old today

My inner child is sixteen years old!


Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla



anywho...i am this dysfunctional carebear

Stoner Bear
Stoner Bear


Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

i am this messed up barbie:
Gangsta Bitch!
You're Gangsta Bitch Barbie. You're tough and you
like it rough, and of course you like to pop a
cap in any wiggers ass.


If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla

what kind of kiss am i?
HASH(0x8adc90c)
You are a Punk Boy Kiss! You met your cutie at that
concert last week... Instead of bringin home
some CDs and a shirt... you brought home him!


What kind of Hot Boy Kiss are you??
brought to you by Quizilla

Current Mood: bored
Current Music: juliana theory-music box theory

April 27th, 2004

04:30 pm: sex,drugs,and rock N roll
i have a lot of bad news my dog, booger, he died this morN....because he decided it was okay to eat a turtle....anyway i cried for almost an hour...and my mom has the audacity to be a bitch everytime she opens her mouth... so FUCK HER! i told her to take a darvocet and leave me alone because her problem was she need some damn meds....WHAT THE HELL EVER! god, i hate it here i cant even call ross and tell him anything because my parents think he calls to much if 3 times is too much then i guess i beat that record when i call anyone! SHE said shes mad because the phone only rings for me....my advice: GET THE FUCK OVER IT! stupid bitch....all i do is get my feeliNs hurt here i dont like to deal with that i cant wait....18 th b-day hurry up because life sucks in this hell hole!

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: thursday-the dotted line

April 24th, 2004

07:18 pm: dont you know? dont you know that you are a shooting star?

Just got back from subway i was hopiN id see the amanda hall because i promised id come see her but i guess i got there too late! We were suppose to go bowling it would be the first time i have ever went bowling ever ...but guess WHAT????????? we DIDNT go! because my parents would rather buy reefer than take their kids anywhere! ah well though i didnt want to go because my ross is spose to take me their my first time! so I would rather do it that way! In other news i watched that movie grind i thought it was really funny and i watched kill bill i think that is really cool action flick! well i know this is all a bunch of blah but i cant help that i dont have anything exciting to say so muahhh im outtie! lol ( i said outtie) hehe

"need more friends with wings, all the angels i know put concrete in my veins"



Current Mood: blah
Current Music: billy talent =nothing to lose
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